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Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Drink Can Tell It All!

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could 'nail' a woman's personality based on what she drinks..
Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

PART A:
WOMEN-DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU!

Drink:Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach:You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......

Drink: Wine(does not includeWhite Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.

Drink:White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.


Drink:Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink:Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

PART B:
MAN-DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE!
THEN, there is the MALE addendum -- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

25 comments:

Happy To Be said...

This is too funny girl and so true..thanks for the laugh..hugs and smiles Gloria

mishebe said...

LOL..... funny. mishelle

~♥~ Monica S said...

hahahahaha!! :-) That IS SO TRUE.. about MEN.. hehehe!!

Funny! :-)

Monica

Chris said...

OMG Tootsie, this is hilarious. I'm sending this to my daughters. Have a good day.

Hugs,
Chris

Julie said...

LOLOL. In other words, steer away from any bars! :)

Ma'dame French said...

I guess I know where I fit in here;) lol This was cute! French;)

Justine said...

Heeheeheeeeeeeeeeee! These were funny, Glenda!!!!!!!

Justine :o )

Rachael said...

Okay...I am confused here! I drink beer and wine (never White Zinfandel though!)

I love a cold beer with dinner, but also love to sit around with friends and drink Chardonnay or Red Wine!

I do hate "sweet foofy" drinks but at a Mexican restuarant I love a Margarita on the Rocks :-)

Oops...this makes it sound like I am quite the "Boozer" huh???

Jessica said...

lmao~ I hope you are feeling better & SLOW down WOMAN!

Hugs~ J

Miss Janice said...

Oh Lord this is too funny! I drink red wine, but have friends who drink white zin--I'll have to educate them about this...The rest is sooooo funny:-)

Darla said...

That's great!!

Dawnie said...

LMAO I loved these! As I was reading the drinks I realized when I do go out to get "happy" I drink all of these...I dont mess around, I like to literally mix thruout the night. Thank God its not often and I always have a driver!

LillyB said...

I think I have a knot on my head because when I was laughing so hard my head went down and hit my granite desk top!!!!! How funny!
Thanks for the laughter!!

Bridget said...

I'd say that is pretty much true from the people that I know that drink those drinks. I know it is supposed to be tongue in cheek but I think the bartender nailed it.

Diane said...

ROFLMAO! Good one Toosie! I'm still giggling! ☺ Diane

Tamara Jansen said...

Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, ho, that's so funny. Fortunately I fall in the red wine category making me a classy broad! The Big Guy drinks red wine with me exactly for the reasons you mentioned!

Funny, funny, funny!

Happy to be said...

GM Tootsie...how are you doing girl...and where have you been..hope and pray all is well in your world today..me I am so tired and these old bones don't like me right now..You know I was thinking..I know stand back for this!! any hoo about the other crown how about doing a contest and have people try and out smart you on flowers?? I bet there would be no winners when it comes to this..like give the answers to 3 differ flowers and what they look like and see how many can guess what they are..just a thought girl..it would be fun..hope you have a safe and blessed day dear friend..hugs and smiles Gloria

Marilyn said...

Hi tootsie...this post is just too funny. btw! I know you love crowns.. go look at this blog http://ofeliashusblogg.blogspot.com/2009/01/frsta-skoldagen-2009.html
Marilyn

Tootsie said...

I just went to that blog! wow...how pretty! well...not sure she will be able to read my comment...but at least I left one!

Lynette said...

Wow Tootsie - I'm a straight from the bottle beer drinker - don't even bother with a mug!! I am pretty casual and laid back, but don't bother me with pool - I usually do my drinking at home and really not that often. Great post, by the way.

Chrissy said...

Drink TEA?????Your a hoot!!!

imjacobsmom said...

Oh my Gosh, I had people in mind for every type - LOL! ~ Robyn

imjacobsmom said...

Oh my Gosh, I had people in mind for every type - LOL! ~ Robyn

Lady Katherine said...

Girl! This is so funny! We worked with an aviation co. 5 years, and traveled. I was the only lady out 10-15 men. When we, hubby and I would take the crew out to eat, on a special occasion, I figured people were thinking what is she, with all those guys, ( I was there boss) anyway, this post is so true for the guys, I got to lol remembering each guy! The toothless one really got me. lol

at the cottage said...

rotflmbo!!!!! Thanks Tootsie I am laughing so harf my nose is running;)

Wine drinker andf a once in a blue moon mixed drinker here ;)

And Men..well of course, we still love them though