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Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

A How-To… And a Smile!

Hey all!!! I got this in an email today and thought I’d share it with you. As I read this email I was very serious and concern was growing for my friend… This is what she wrote me:

“My dear friends, Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts.

Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below.

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:

* Soft and Hygienic

* Non-slip grip strips on the soles

* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh

* No more bending over to mop up spills

* Disposable and biodegradable

* Environmentally safe

* Three convenient sizes:

(1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself.

... Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.”

image0011maxipad slippers  by sue

….as you may have figured out…she is just as silly as I am! I loved this little home made joke and thought you might get a kick out of it too!!!

hee hee!!!!!!!!

Until next time…Happy (ahem) ‘crafting’

*)*)*) to my three winks…I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm alive because I'm a fighter.I am wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness.

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´Glenda/Tootsie
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

www.tootsietime.com

Monday, September 5, 2011

Why Prarents Drink





The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'

The child whispered,
' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered,' No '

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

'
Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

'
No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,

'
The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' Me .. '

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR LIPSTICK!

!cid_1_3527417364@web57609_mail_re1_yahoo


Why would you even ask me that?

I am so insulted!

Every time something goes missing around here,


everybody looks at me!


!cid_2_3527417364@web57609_mail_re1_yahoo

Handle every Stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or play with it….
Pee on it and walk away.

See you all back here for Fertilizer Friday!!! Last week was so inspiring that as usual, I am looking forward to seeing your flaunts this week!!!

*)*)*) you know who you are! mwuah!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´Glenda/Tootsie
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

www.tootsietime.com

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Get Ready to Giggle!

I know I promised to share with you all the home interior project that I have been working on...but...just when I was about to take photos...something very bad happened in the room, and I have had to put it on slight delay...
I WILL be posting that room on Monday without fail, and if you need me between now and Fertilizer Friday.....
I'LL BE IN THE GREENHOUSE! LOL
I thought I'd leave you with this little story.

If you don't laugh at this one,
Then you don't have a sense of humor...

Old Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‘Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'


Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.

Until I see you all again on Friday for the weekly Flaunting….Happy gardenig!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´Glenda/Tootsie
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

www.tootsietime.com

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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Little Life Rule to Remember

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town.

The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people

who remarked it was a shame the old man

was walking and the boy was riding..



The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right,

so they changed positions.


Then, later, they passed some people who remarked,

'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'

So they then decided they'd both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought

they were stupid to walk when they had a

decent donkey to ride.

So, they both rode the donkey.


Now they passed some people

who shamed them by saying how awful to

put such a load on a poor donkey.



The boy and man figured they were probably right,

so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge,

they lost their grip on the animal

and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?


If you try to please everyone,

you might as well...


Kiss your ass goodbye!






Have A Nice Day And Be Careful With Your Donkey


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Just a little smile…or two.

!cid_0D044A38F7E74CB4814D7D342E9394E4@MARS

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.”

The second woman responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”

“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”

•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥●•

!cid_1_3287314784@web113813_mail_gq1_yahoo

(I love this one)

•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥●•

Someone was looking for you......

This guy knocked on my door, and said he was looking for you.

I lied.. and told him I didn't know where you were.

You OWE me!!! hahahaha!!!

And with that…I bit you a good week! I am so busy doing a lot of little projects…working my fingers to the bone…and spending a little quality time with my kids each day…that I have not had one second to post! I will not be posting the projects on here till they are all finished up…so that’s it!

I will see you all back here for Fertilizer Friday…I can’t wait to see what eveyone is sharing this week!!!

I have a little less than 50 more followers to go to reach 500…when I reach 500 followers…there will be a giveaway! I can’t hardly wait!!! See you on Friday!

Hugs and smiles…and if I could…I’d raise a glass to those three who read…and think I write especially to them! hahaha! *) *) *) Evil Grins!

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´Tootsie
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Just a Silly Thought ...

Sometimes the one you think is your knight
in shining armor turns out to be
a retard in tin foil

I thought I'd share this ....since I am off to the greenhouse...I needed something to hold me over for the next day or two! haha!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Here's a tip for ya!

I got this ever so priceless tip while at the local college...I laughed to myself all the way home!

GO BRA-LESS...IT WILL PULL THE WRINKLES OFF YOUR FACE!

I definitely need to keep this in mind!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!
happy weekend!
I'll be in the greenhouse and the garage next week...with lots to share!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I Ain't No Redneck- BUT....

Forget Rednecks!
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians:
the sad part is some of it I do! lol ha ha !!! enjoy!

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .. ( or me in the plant department anywhere...lol)

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada . (done this a few times! )

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada . (yep...I do this! lol)


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada . ( yes...yes I do)

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada . ( and this happens a lot...ha ha)

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada . (were they at my house???? ha ha)

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada . (hey!!! what's wrong with a girl knowing this????)

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada . (it's sad...but I do this every year!)

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada . (speed is a passion you know! I love it!)

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada . (only in Saskatchewan...we don't have this here in Alberta so much)

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada . (sucks...but it's true)

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada . (hey!!! I want a snow blower...my shovel isn't gas powered!)

If you find -5 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada . ( ya Justine!!!)

If you actually understand these jokes,
and share them with all of your friends,

you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

DAMN STRAIGHT I'M PROUD!!!
have a good weekend kids! see ya soon....
Life as a single mom is a busy one to say the least. I have been taking a lot of photos of what I have been doing...so when I finally have the time and the energy to get back on here full time...LOOK OUT! TOOTSIE HAS BEEN A BUSY GAL!
miss ya guys!









































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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

First Photo.

Hopefully in the next day or so I will have my project completed....just in time to share with you!
I'm also trying hard to make it around to see you all or at least reply to all the great comments you all have left for me the last two days. My hip is feeling a tad better...so I have been busy again...

Monday, November 2, 2009

This is HILARIOUS....Makin ya Smile on Monday

I think that this is one of my all time favorite jokes...it's not clean or dirty...just stupid...Sunday's joke post got me on a tour through my stash of silliness...and with not much else to share yet (my projects are taking longer to do than I planned) I'm entertaining with a joke!

Drunk in the Toilet.
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood- curdling scream is heard. Minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles.

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You Idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Happy Monday!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Can You Read Me Now??? (LOL)

Eonverye taht can raed tihs rsaie yuor hnad..Let me just simply add....I received this in an email this morning....and thought it was neat....I have very little to post about right now...so I am sharing this. My spell check is going mental!!!

To my 'selected' strange-minded friends:
If you can read the following paragraph, leave a comment and let me know!

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!


fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae... The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs let me konw.

I was seriously surprised that I could read it as easily and as quickly as my usual reading (and I am a fast reader)

Have a wonderful day friends!

Friday, October 9, 2009

In Case You Missed It...A Thanksgiving Recipe (yep...it's that time in Canada)


In light of the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday coming upon us, I thought I would share a recipe that I do enjoy sharing!
Those who know me know I do not enjoy cooking. It is not that I can't do it, I just hate it. I do however enjoy cooking the big meals for the grand holiday meals.

This one caught my eye and made me smile just thinking of it.
enjoy.
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing - imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
Give this a try.

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn ( ORVILLE REDENBACHER IS LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.Listen for the popping sounds.
When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done.

And, you thought I couldn't cook.........
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY CANADIAN FOLLOWERS!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Just Do It!

MY NEW NAME IS CRUSTY CHUCKLE FACE DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS
We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.
Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.
Here is your dose of humor...
A. Follow the instructions to find your new
name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the
subject box and forward it to friends and family & co-workers.
The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
So:-
1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesy
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy
2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barfy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants

h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice
And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.
Put more laughter in your day!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Emooning

I got this in my email this morning and thought it was cute...

EMOONING!!
We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:

:) means a smile

and :( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-) Happy

:-( Sad
Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) an ass hole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned!
Hopefully I will be able to make my huge announcement by the middle of the week...I can hardly wait, but have to be sure that the timing is right!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Other Stall

This Could Happen To You!
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doing' just fine!'
And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?'
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here. '
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'
Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation.
I say: 'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'
Then I hear the person say, nervously: 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'
ROFLMAO!!!!!
HAPPY MONDAY! gone to the greenhouse...be back soon with some photos and information!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Who Does This Remind ME Of? ROFLMAO!!!!

Hello!!! I got this email today...and it really tickled me...it reminds me of someone I know VERY well....

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna=2 0look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Sincerely,
Wal-Mart

Guys....this is just so much like the stuff my dad does....I could almost swear that this came in my Mom's mail!

Friday, January 9, 2009

WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER!!!! hilarious

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car .
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation .
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! SEE YA NEXT WEEK (if I can find something to talk about)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Drink Can Tell It All!

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could 'nail' a woman's personality based on what she drinks..
Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:

PART A:
WOMEN-DRINKS, WHO THEY ARE, & YOU!

Drink:Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach:You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink......

Drink: Wine(does not includeWhite Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with my friends.

Drink:White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.


Drink:Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink:Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

PART B:
MAN-DRINKS & WHO THE MEN ARE!
THEN, there is the MALE addendum -- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Efficient Card for All Occasions!

MERRY EVERYTHING!

This is the perfect card for me! I buy birthday cards....and forget to send them...once I sent the Easter cards (the one year I sent Easter cards) out instead of the Valentines Day (the one year I did that too) cards! I am Horrible about cards....I do send Christmas cards....every year! I got this in my email and thought it was cute!
I have pre-made a couple of posts for this week. I think three...OH-AND THEY ARE GOOD ONES!!!! ....but if you all don't see too much of lil' ol me for a few days, it is because I am a tad busy with some things. (thank goodness for pre -scheduled posting) My "husband" is coming home today.
He has been gone for around a month now and we have to get ourselves organized for Christmas with the kids. This includes some shopping...among other things.
I will try my best to get around to your blogs...and leave my comments, but if I don't...please understand! I have a lot of last minute details to handle and things are about to become very interesting and hectic here.
I hope you guys have a great week! Know I will be thinking of you all...(as I go into shock from the blog withdrawl)
Get plenty of Christmas ready...and stay warm and safe. This morning I am off to hockey! yes....more hockey....this kid best love his mom....!